A Lesson in Uprooting

We have officially sold our house!  We closed the deal and removed a few keys from our key chains on Friday. I would be lying if I said I didn't cry about something every day for the two weeks leading up to the closing date.

Now that all is said and signed I'm feeling a bit like an expert on the issue of selling a small house inhabited by two kids under 4, a 60 pound animal, and two adults.  We put our house on the market on a Monday.  The first showing was two days later and our house was shown every day for the next two weeks; and most days it was shown twice in one day.  We were home long enough to make a mess, sleep, eat, and clean up before the next showing.  Through it all, amazingly enough, my house stayed clean and tidy.  I have a few friends in our same position (selling a house while raising small messy people), and they have asked if I had any tips now that I'm on the other side of it.

Glad you asked.

1) Listen to your real estate agent.
Our agent told us to rearrange the furniture to make the room look bigger, take a few furniture items out, minimize the "kid" spread around the house, de-bulk the closets and cabinets, and take almost everything off the kitchen counters.
We got a storage unit and loaded it up with all things holiday decor, fine china, outgrown baby clothes and toys, and kitchen appliances I could live without for a few weeks.  Suddenly our house started to feel bigger and slightly less like my space.

2) Clean up!
Every night before we went to bed I made sure things were put away: laundry, dishes, toys, clothes, shoes, etc; basically any and every thing that was usually left out at the end of a long day.  The things you pass on your way to bed as you say, "I'll get that in the morning".
I learned the hard way that sometimes Pearl from the agency will call at 8:30 A.M. asking if someone can show your house in an hour.  I calmly told her "of course! thanks a bunch, Pearl!" as I looked at my kitchen table covered with breakfast and crayons, and then the sink full of dishes from dinner the night before, and finally our dining table covered in unfolded laundry; all to the tune of loud little voices still dressed in pajamas and neediness.
An hour, and two episodes of whatever was on the Disney Channel at that moment, later my kids were dressed, my house was clean, my blinds up and lights on.... my brain totally fried.
I loaded the kids and the dog into the car and we disappeared for an hour.

3) Pray
The day of our first showing felt like a first date.  Very clearly I remember standing in our door way, breathing fast and sweating (despite the below freezing temperatures that day) I looked into my house, shut my eyes tight and prayed out loud that someone would "love this house as much as we do and feel at home and at peace when they walk through this door".  Ten days later, the person that had come that day (and two other times after that) made an offer on our house, and is now the proud owner.


4) Get a routine
Whatever works for you in the clean up ritual, make it a routine so you don't even have to think about it when Pearl calls.  For me it was kitchen first, then bedrooms and bathrooms, and last pick up toys.  I usually put the girls in the car and then went back in the house to do a quick run with the Swiffer mop equivalent and pick up the toys they got out as we were walking out the door.

5) Light a Candle
I lit a candle every night after dinner. Also as soon as Pearl would call and I began my clean up ritual, I would light a candle.  After the 30 minutes of tidying up, the house smelled great.



I still can't believe our house is no longer ours.  I am so thankful it all went so fast, but I can't escape my homesickness.  My systematic mornings, organized cabinets, and overall familiarity.  I told my husband, through tears, the other night that I just "wanted to get something out of the hall closet!"  It sounds so bizarre and so simple, but I love my space and my comfort.  While I now have a new lovely space and every comfort imaginable the newness of our uprooting will take some getting used to.  I am finding it hard to settle and organize now in the month of March because in three short months the uprooting continues.... and a year from that date, again!

With the roots I have been laying, I hope there is a place out there with a big enough hole for me to fill, and I hope it shows it's face sooner rather than later.

What a Difference a Day.... or a Month Makes

Since I posted last a number of things have gone on surrounding our little family.

We are weeks from moving out of our adorable house with the yellow door and white picket fence.  It took all of 10 days (and three separate visits I might add) for someone else to decide that there was a shared love for this little dwelling.  We haven't closed and handed over keys just yet, so I don't like to say that we have "sold" it.... but rather, we are in a very serious relationship: past the point of dating, bought the rings, but haven't quite said our vows and made the full commitment.  We have, however, been given the go ahead from our realtor that it is safe to pack it up.  (*Entire blog post dedicated to "how to sell your house and pack it up in one month while you have two small and busy children running everywhere" coming soon)  All that to say, we are moving out and across town to a lovely "apartment" on the second level of my in-laws house.  Our complex comes complete with lovely people that will babysit for free, a playground, and a swimming pool next door.  Needless to say, I am ecstatic about our 3 month stint in between homes.

My children have cycled through a number of colds.  This is not surprising but it has kept us home from church and bible study, and it has moved Kleenex and Lysol to the top of the grocery list.  Boring, but for the sake of full disclosure, it's something I've "been up to" lately.

I celebrated my birthday as long as I possibly could.  My parents came to town the weekend before my birthday and treated me to food, shopping, and the U-HAUL store which came at the perfect time, as I had been feeling anxious about leaving and moving away from familiarity.  Then on my actual birthday, I went through our usual Wednesday motions, except for ballet class; it was raining, so I let Bug watch a movie and eat (*100 calorie/low carb) popcorn instead.  My husband took me to get sushi for dinner, to a place we have kept sacred and safe from our food slinging, Wet One requiring crew.  We ate entirely too much and came home to watch reality TV: American Idol to be specific.... very much a guilty pleasure of mine.  The following weekend, I was treated to a night out with about 20 of my favorite people.  Everyone was wearing sequins and my husband surprised us with a huge Escalade Limo situation that drove us all over town and provided an endless amount of opportunities for "songs from college sing-a-longs".  It was truly the greatest birthday I've celebrated to date.  A huge big 30 year old hug to everyone that made it all possible!

The Sunday after my birthday, one of my favorite people finally made it home.  She was glamorous, loving, hilarious, hospitable, faithful, tough, smart, and comforting; all the while carrying the perfect handbag.  She was so much more than just kind words, she was also my grandmother, and the matriarch or our family.  If you remember, in December we were able to celebrate her on her 90th birthday.  I am so very thankful for the time we were all able to have with her and that we will all be able to remember her in her fabulous silver suit and heels, surrounded by almost all of her great grandchildren as she blew out the candles on her birthday cake and toasted champagne.

As I flew home, still dressed in my go-to, albeit adorable, black dress for funerals, I realized that for the first time in a long time I felt braver somehow about entering the Kingdom of Heaven.  I've never been afraid of dying, because I am confident in my final destination, but I've always thought about it as if I were a 5 year old going over to a new friend's house for a play date.  Nervous to walk up to the door by myself and meet new people, but thankful that my mom would walk with me to ring the doorbell.  It suddenly seems less intimidating to be greeted by Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven, because I know my Nanie will be right behind him with open arms, a huge smile, and a "welcome home, Honey!" followed by a little giggle and a big squeeze.  I just hope they let her wear the same perfume, she always smelled so good.

She will be missed, but fondly remembered every day.

We are ready to take on March and the allergies that come with Spring, as we pack our lives into categorized boxes and prepare for a move and a time of uncertainty.

Selfishly Seeking Safety in Sameness

I function best when I have a schedule and can know what to expect.  I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am "high control", but I do like to know the who, what, where, when, and hows in most situations.  I find safety in sameness and I care very little if anyone finds that boring.  I'm actually far from boring, and if you read this blog, you know this to be true.  I'll save my character evaluation for a later date.  Today, I tackle a bigger issue; the issue bringing me to tears almost every day without warning.  It's such a small thing; in fact, one might say it's silly that it upsets me so.... but I digress.

Change!

There is hardly an area of my life in which things remain the same.  I take that back.  My dog; he still "does his business" outside, eats at night, barks at anything with feet, and sleeps on my floor.  But other than that, nothing is safe anymore.

I've mentioned that we are moving.  Our house has been on the market for almost two weeks and we have had so much activity and interest, which is great, an answered prayer even.  However, I find that we are home just long enough to eat, sleep, and then clean up the mess we made in that short amount of time, before we have to leave for another stranger to come to our house.  They will walk around our rooms and look at our pictures......  If you are getting the sense that I am not comfortable with unidentified people roaming my dwelling, you're right!  Did they wash their hands when they came in?  What did they touch?  Did they look in our refrigerator, or dishwasher, or washer/dryer?  Did they sit anywhere?  It sounds crazy, I know, but I just love my space and home.... judge as you will.  The random roamers are not really the issue.  I just don't feel ready to move on yet.  Basically, I keep picturing me in our empty house, sitting on the floor holding one final box and having a movie moment, while I play a montage of memories in my head; from buying our first house, to throwing really great parties, to bringing home a baby, bringing home diabetes, and then bringing home another baby, and ALL the good and bad that fell in between.  Tears are inevitable.

Another change worth mentioning is that with February 1, comes the beginning of my birth month.  I have said before that because my actual birthday falls in the middle of the month, I like to stretch it out through out the entire month.  This birth month, I will be 30.  THIRTY.  Honesty 2012: I have grey hair, wrinkles, and every time I add a new pilates "move" to my routine or another block to my route, I suffer for about a week.  However, I can honestly say that I prefer my brain, maturity, and confidence level at this age much more than that of me at 25 so I'll take the good with the "bad".  (I actually happen to like my gray hair... it's super shiny and thick, so when I decide to quit coloring it, I'll call Dove and audition for the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" type campaign they will be running).

A few others:
-Bug is determined to do everything "BYMYSEEEEEEEEELLLFFFFF!"  which adds about 10 minutes to every action.
-Peanut has learned to almost run... just fast enough to get away from me when she's holding my tea cup full of hot tea, as it spills and sloshes..... which is annoying because of 3 reasons: I'm afraid she will burn herself, I have to make another cup of tea, and now there is a new mess to clean before the next potential buyer comes to visit.  You're wondering how she got a hold of it....
-Peanut has also learned to climb on the dining table in a split second, so nothing is safe there anymore
-My husband has begun studying for Radiology Boards, which means there is a bit of added stress to his day, AND he takes the laptop to work almost daily.... woe is me, I know.
-My hair is now 10 inches shorter
-The weather is totally unpredictable
-I didn't get to sign Bug up for K4 at her pre school next Fall
-My friends are pregnant (which means while we are gone, there will be new people created that I will have to wait to know later, instead of upon arrival)
-My family members are moving and starting new jobs and overall.... going further away from a comfortable driving distance.

I'll be the first to admit that it's all selfish.  I know it is.  If we get to move back to our little town after our gig in North Carolina, I'm afraid it will all be changed....different: new homes, new kids, new schools, new jobs, new spouses, new friends, new restaurants and shops, and so on.  I know we won't be left behind or forgotten because we are too pushy for that.  But I would be lying if I said that I don't often think, "What if they all figure out that they don't miss us?!  And they get along just fine when we are away?"  Which I know is not possible..... who else would remind you to clean the public high chair, wash your hands before you fix my dinner, or to not be afraid to wear heels or sequins during the day time?

I've already told our supper club that they are not allowed to replace us, so that area is covered.  All the rest of you, consider this your warning..... don't go changing on me too much!  And if you must go on living your lives, just make sure I'm aware of it so I can start dealing as soon as possible.

Have a great weekend!

*disclaimer: In no way is this a ploy to get you all to tell me that you'll miss us.... although, it is allowed.

High Chair Wars

A cup of blueberries
A cup of sweet peas
7 pieces of deli turkey
2 slices of cheese
A cup of milk
2 pieces of whole wheat bread
1/4 cup of yogurt

And still she asks for "MOHHH!"

After all of that food, consumed in a 15 minute time span, Peanut begs for more food!  Our table is in our kitchen which makes meal time slightly easier when Peanut is at the table.  Here is how dinner service "went down" this evening:

Peanut is yelling (her only volume these days.... happy or sad; it's always at volume: shout), stomping her feet at the gate between the kitchen and the rest of the house.  "EAAAAAT!  EAAAAT!"  I look at my watch and, she is right..... 10 minutes 'till dinner service number one.  I wash her hands and head straight for the booster seat, grabbing the blueberries from the fridge as I pass.  The sight of the blueberries induces clapping and leg kicking.... more shouting.

As soon as I dump out (what I think should take her 10 minutes to eat) about a cup of berries, she grabs two giant handfuls and shoves both of them into her mouth simultaneously.  Then as I turn around, rushing to fix the peas.... she is shouting: "MOHHH!!"  Tray cleared, mouth full, eyes piercing through me; knowing there are more berries in the fridge and I am withholding.   I truly spin in circles grabbing food from the counter, all but throwing it at her in hopes it lands within her reach instead of in the dog's mouth.  The dog is a totally different issue: whether he is licking her tray directly, licking her spoon (that she then puts back into her own mouth), or being fed by the diner.... he is never far and always interested.

Keep in mind that as soon as Peanut is seated, Bug notices that dinner has begun and she races to wash her hands and gives her input regarding the menu.  So, as I am trying to keep a clear head with the shouting, and the spinning, and the serving; I am also checking blood sugar and counting the amount of carbohydrates I am serving my oldest child.  Once the sugar is checked and the food is served, I head back to the counter and continue.  Thankfully, Bug is a peaceful eater and often only speaks to ask "Why is she shouting?!" or to tell me "Mom, she is definitely going to have to have a bath after this.  Just look at her face!"  She is right.

Almost every night, the post dinner routine for Peanut is a strip down, pre-bath wipe down, and we head straight to the bath tub..... all the while I am laughing and asking her how in the world she got yogurt in her ear and smooshed blueberry on her back.

I know what you are thinking: "why don't you just get her food ready ahead of time and have it ready for her to eat before she gets fussy?!"  I say to you, "No matter how early I prep; the hunger beast always wins."  I invite you to dinner with a toddler, and after that you may speak freely

This is a phase.  I know this because at one time, my peaceful eater was a shouter, food thrower, dog feeder, and 6 o'clock stress inducer.  So, just for now, I will continue to go to the grocery store 3 times a week to keep us in fruit and breath through the labor of love that is feeding my 25 pound 16 month old.

Chapter 14: Nomadic Adventures

I started at "Birth" as Chapter 1, and worked up from there.  This stage of life falls at number 14.

Nomad:

    1. A member of a group of people who have no fixed home and move according to the seasons from place to place in search of food, water, and grazing land.
    2. A person with no fixed residence who roams about; a wander.

I know what you are thinking......  and no, we are not moving to a far off desert to follow the camels as they search for water, or going to live with a herd of sheep to basically become one of them.  However, if you break down the definition of a nomad, we will be doing (our own version of) just that... free roaming herds of animals need not apply.

"1. A member of a group of people who have no fixed home..."

Later this week, if all goes as planned, we will have a "For Sale" sign in front of our (adorable, affordable, amazing, you should buy it) little house.  If you have ever attempted to sell your dwelling, you are well aware of the fact that as soon as you decide to sell, the house is no longer your comfortable, cozy, cluttered little home.  I have done my absolute best to make it seem as though:

-we have children, but they are quiet and boring and don't have more than 7 toys each

-we each only have a total of 10 outfits and 5 pairs of shoes

-we did not receive ANY wedding gifts

-we never use our bathroom or kitchen

and the one that keeps me going

-we don't actually live here, but rather it's like our home, on set of our family sit-com

All that to say, after we sell our house, we will have "no fixed home".  Don't feel sorry for us, that is apparently the goal we have set, so let's all hope and pray that "a safe kind of homeless" will be the end (and temporary) result.

".... and move according to the seasons from place to place in search of food, water, and grazing land."

I am sure that the definition implies that the seasons are that of Winter, Spring and so on.  However, for us this "season" is simply called Fellowship.  There was the Med School season, then the Residency season, now the Fellowship season..... to be followed by (God willing) the Finished season, or as I lovingly call it, the Job.  

So as we follow the season of Fellowship to a far off land called North Carolina, we will be in search of food (our new favorite restaurants), water (will we need to buy a Pur or is the tap water tasty?), and grazing land (this could be filled by any number of things, but for us it means: golf courses, play grounds, endocrinologists, Pharmacy, library, Whole Foods, dog parks, walking routes, pediatricians, red box spots, baby sitters, and anything else implying necessity or recreation).  

All potentially exciting things, as long as true life plays out exactly as the romantic comedy version; complete with a great soundtrack, and kooky (but safe and lovable) neighbors.

"2. A person with no fixed residence who roams about; a wanderer."

As we prepare to sell our house, I am spending every ounce of free time trolling every possible real estate website, having anything to do with a home that might be perfect for us, and available for rent beginning June 2012 and ending July 2013.  Which explains my absence from the Open Mic 4 times a week, here at Club Sugar Savvy.

Because we will be renting a house/condo/town home, (and I have rented many times before so I speak from experience) I will not feel that our space is our home.  That small fact eats away at me as I search for the perfect spot:

-3 bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, fenced back yard, similar size to my current house, and a kitchen that is equal to or greater than the one where I spend a large part of my day

All that being said; we might be without a "fixed residence", and we might "roam about", but we will be unfixed and wandering together, with or without a dishwasher.

Thankfully, I know that there are other "nomadic" families in our midst.  As we await a long term dwelling place, we know we are not alone in our temporary displacement, and we look forward to sharing stories of our migrations.

When What to My Wondering Eyes...

Between our travels and our traditions it has been hard to find time to visit this place of thought logging, but today I have a small window to share a few small thoughts.

If you have had an encounter with Bug, you know that she loves to share what's on her mind.  I must admit that at times her "think out loud" thought process has driven me crazy, however at Christmas time it is quite the opposite.

She is so in awe of all things Christmas.  From the birth of Jesus, to Santa coming down the chimney.... it is all Christmas, all the time:

-Every star in the sky is "the bright star from the Heavens, Mommy!"
-She wraps up her sister in "swaddling clothes" and sings Away in a Manger to her.... With a slight lyric change: "Away in a Manger, no crib for YOUR bed"
-The blue Cinderella dress is now worn to play "Activity (nativity) Scene"... I usually have to be the shepherd.
-We write a new letter for Santa almost daily
-Daily there is a request to "ask Daddy to go buy us a chimney", in fear that Santa will skip us
-Constant.... CONSTANT caroling.... her playlist: Jingle Bells, Away in a Manger, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Go Tell it on the Mountain, and songs she makes up as she goes along; usually on the subject of Jesus, Christmas Trees, Santa, or Mary and Joseph (sometimes all in one song) *each song ending with a big finish; which is just doing a curtsey while singing the last line of the song again very slowly.
-She wants to wear Christmas dresses every day

and my favorite
-She will look at one of us randomly and, with a huge smile, say, "Merry Christmas! I love you!" followed by a huge hug..... which Peanut usually wiggles free of.

I have been so impressed by her heart and mind these past few weeks.  Since we started talking about baby Jesus and why he came to Earth, there have been some very interesting conversations.  We have been telling her about Jesus and his birth and sacrifice since she was a tiny baby, always hoping that something would sink in.  The other day my 3 year old looked at me and said, "Mom, Jesus came to Earth as a baby and then grew up to save us from our sin."  Then she proceeded to tell me what sin was and that it makes us unhappy.  Then "Baby Jesus" came back into the room, dragging swaddling clothes behind her and Bug began to direct us all.  She sang to Peanut and spun around the room in her Cinderella/Mary dress, leaving trails of glitter and excitement with every step.

I hope you are finding the Miracle of Christmas as exciting as we are this year.  May the next few weeks be filled with joy, love, glitter, and a big finish!

Love the One You're With

In a few hours, the girls and I are headed west.  To west Texas, to be exact.

We are joining my dad's side of the family in celebrating the birth of his mother on her 90th birthday!  My aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins' families are all gearing up for an entire weekend of celebrating.  There is never any shortage of laughter or late nights.... sometimes accompanied by dancing and dress up from Aunt Mary's closet.  We, cousins, are spread out; in age, interest, home, and profession.... but we all have one lovely lady in common.  Our Nanie/Nannie.

*I recently (last night) discovered I am THE only one to spell her name with one 'n' in the middle, but as I said last night, I have been spelling it that way for as long as I can remember.... so for the sake of simplicity, today in this post, she will be known as Nanie. (which by the way, my computer is trying to auto correct)*

My Nanie is glamourous, strong, confident, God fearing, loving, classy, comforting, smart, hilarious, beautiful, and everything I hope to be as I grow and raise a family of my own.  I can think of no better way to honor her, than to go to her home and surround her with love and togetherness.

I am a middle cousin.  If you are middle cousin, you know that you were too little to play with the big kids, but "too cool" to play with the little kids.... because you were always trying to act "cool" so the big kids would let you trade stickers with them.  Now as an adult middle cousin, have realized that I actually happen to like all of my cousins and the people that they married, even the children that have produced.  I am proud to say, I have a hard time relating to anyone with family/holiday/etc drama.

I know there are people that dread family time, but I can only value it.  Although we may not see each other often or keep up with each other very well.... we have come from the same place, we share some of the same genes, personality traits, and values, and we are family.

Have a great weekend

To see how we have been gearing up for this weekend and honoring Nanie/Nannie, look HERE.

*the lovely people in the photo are (from left to right) My Granddaddy Jimmy, Memaw, Nanie, and Granddady Thronton, at my parents' rehearsal dinner.*