Monday, July 30, 2012

Another Day. Another Doctor.

Today we had our first appointment at our new/temporary Endocrinologist.

*Let me start by saying: we were spoiled by our hospital before.  Everyone knew us.  We could park right outside the door.... for free.  We had a personal and ongoing relationship with our Endocrinologist.  We were spoiled.*

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone intending to be helpful, resulting in them sounding condescending.  In the sense that she is trying; truly and earnestly trying to be helpful and, I believe, means well on all fronts.  However, she still manages to just totally annoy you and crush your positive attitude in a matter of minutes.  This happened today.  

Don't feel sorry for me... I just need an outlet

For starters we got there early... built-in time for me to get lost.  Aside from the giant parking deck and limited parking spots, everyone  else was very helpful and efficient.  My husband met us in the lobby and helped me navigate through his new workplace.  We only waited about 15 minutes after checking in, and then we were in a room, seeing the nurses, getting all the labs done, and then seeing the Nurse Practitioner soon after.  Up until this point I was very impressed.

My husband was with me, dressed in his "I work here as a doctor" costume, so it seemed that everyone was confident in our abilities to care for Bug and make the "life and death" decisions that we have been called to make.  About thirty minutes into our "chat" with the APN, things started to get ugly for the almost 2 year old in a room full of things "you can't touch!", so Dad stepped in and took Peanut to the hallway.  

Then, the APN started to address me, instead of the man in the green scrubs.  At this point, I realized.... "She has been talking to him the whole time!  And she is seriously underestimating me..... I shouldn't have worn such giant earrings."

She started to quiz me:

APN: "When is a blood sugar considered low?"
Me: "80 or below"
N: "Good.  Ok, now.... how do you check for keytones?" (talking really slow, with a lot of hand motions)
Me: .... lengthy but adequate answer (not worth re-typing)
N: "Ok... good job.  Now, what do you do if she has high keytones?"
Me: (taking note of how she was holding her sheet so I couldn't see her "answers" as she looked at me with that "wait for it.... I hope she says the right thing........" kind of a look) I answered appropriately and almost followed with...."I'm sorry Nancy, are you quizzing me?!"

I showed restraint.

This went on for about 10 more minutes. At the end of the pop quiz, which I of course passed, she handed me a huge book and said I would find some helpful information in there, like meal planning and how to keep my kid on a schedule so she doesn't snack all day.  To which I replied, "Thank you, I really appreciate your time."  

I really wanted to tell her.... "Honey, I got this.  All day every day.  Eat. Sleep. Pray. Check Blood Sugar. Repeat.  Now give me our A1C and my next appointment date."

I'm venting. 

I'm thankful for Nancy and her thorough explanations and educating.  And no, Nancy is not her real name.  I know there are some parents who need and depend on the Nancy's.  

However, she did nothing but stress me when she told me we should start seeing other specialists in the next year to check eyes, feet, etc.... which will bring Bug's doctor total up to 4.  

And again when it was suggested we subject Peanut to needles and blood draws to see "what our chances are".  

And another time when the idea was pressed that we let the Continuous Blood Glucose Monitor take over for the 2 am sugar check uncertanties.  

At this point my husband, had returned to the room, and said, "we can do this.  we don't mind getting up at 2am every night.  This works for us."  I interrupted him.... apologies.... and said, "We have too much going on right now.  There is so much that is uncertain in our lives with the moving and the new job and this little sister, and the upcoming year with a different job and another move!.... this pump and system work for us.... we are not adding another machine right now."  She could sense my mood as we entered the second hour of the appointment, and she decided that we could "wait 'till next time to talk with the Psychologist."

Maybe I should make a solo appointment for that bit next time.

3 hours had passed.... we were back to the car and navigating our way home (easier said than done these days).  

My husband said not to worry about the quiz master and that I was doing a good job.  

I AM doing a good job.  I'm thankful, and up for the challenge!  

I am also thankful for reminders that I hate diabetes and and I hate dealing with it.   
Reminders that we need a cure.... no matter how comfortable and capable we are when it comes to doing life with a thorn in our side.

For another take on thankfulness..... check this out... from a fellow sugar savvy mama.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Stranger Negotiations

Bug is the QUEEN of negotiating and making bad ideas seem like great ideas.

Me: "It's time for bedtime snack and then off to bed"
Bug: "Well, Mom.... Here's the thing.... I was actually thinking..... maybe I should watch a little show while I have my snack because that will help me calm down and relax before I get into bed"

*All the while, she is using big hand motions, eyebrows, head nodding... the whole bit.  Just think 'Shirley Temple with straighter hair' and you've got it*

And, you guessed it.... I LET HER DO IT!  She's too good.  Entirely too smart for me already in the department of negotiating.

However, I stick to my guns where it counts.

Our latest point of contention: "Don't talk to strangers."

My first born was truly made for outreach.  We just moved to a town where we know no one, and it has yet to phase her.  Every playground, every restaurant, every hospital staff picnic.... she literally walks up to kids and adults she has never met with open arms, gives a huge hug and says, "Hey! I'm .....! We should probably be friends."  (*again with the hands and the head nodding and the eyebrows*)

This is entirely out of my comfort zone.  I'm not introverted by any means, but it usually takes me at least 6 days of knowing someone to hug upon arrival.

All of this will eventually lead us to the subject of strangers.

A few weeks ago, we went to a beach; where again, we knew no one.  My husband was walking down the beach with Peanut and I was sitting in a chair watching Bug play in the water about 15 yards away.  I watched a lady with a baby walk up to where Bug was playing.  Here is how the scene played out:

Bug: "Oh, hey! How are you guys?  I like your baby!" (as she begins to pet the baby's leg)
Lady: "Oh hi.  What's your name?"
Bug: "My name is ...... My sister's name is ...... We live in ..... We just moved from ......  My daddy is a Radiologist at the hospital and my dog's name is Hamilton.  He's a really nice dog." (*I'm watching with my mouth wide open.... is she going to give her a key to our house next?!)
Lady: "Oh wow, that's exciting."
Bug: "Yeah, we are visiting here to the beach.  I like it a lot." (*and at this point I start to make my way over to the three of them as I watch Bug start to hug this random lady, who by the way looks slightly uncomfortable and glad to see that this crazy kid has an adult along for the ride)

Granted, she was a 'mommy' and was holding a baby; but the fact remains: She was alone and we do not know her!

Bug has:

opened hotel doors to people she doesn't know
shared personal information with strangers
invaded countless personal spaces upon introduction
interrupted many meals in restaurants
gotten me and my husband into quite a few awkward situations with other adults by walking up to them and introducing us to them.... "Hi, I like your dress! (touching random lady's dress)  This is my mother...."

We have been talking about strangers for months now.  After the beach moment we revisited the issue immediately.  After a lot of head nodding and "yes sir-ing", we seemed to reach an understanding.  Then we asked, "So what should you do if you are not with Mom or Dad, and someone you don't know walks up to you, or speaks to you; should you speak to them?"

We held our breath.

Bug: "No....  (*sigh of relief from the parents).....

"BUT if they are nice and holding babies or puppies, or food or something, then it's probably OK because they are nice and won't hurt me or take me away"

Am I on "Candid Camera: After School Special Edition"?!
She is negotiating.  She is trying to make strangers seem like a good idea!

I pulled out all the stops and went into detail about the whole issue of kidnapping......

Me: "sometimes strangers take you away from Mommy and Daddy"
Bug: "oh that might be fun! I would get to visit a new place!"
Me: "No!  It would not be fun!  They don't feed you.  You don't take a bath. You don't get to play with friends or hug Mommy and Daddy.  And sometimes they hurt you and don't give you band aids.  And they definitely don't give you back to your families."

Seems harsh, but we were getting desperate.  My husband jokingly suggested letting her watch the movie Ransom.... But we aren't quite that desperate yet.

After the conversation that I thought would give her nightmares, we went to a park.  20 minutes into our visit I look over and Bug is having a lovely conversation with an adult foreign woman who doesn't speak very good English.  They are giggling and smiling and also about 30 yards away from me; just out of ear shot.

I'm watching.
Suddenly, a light comes on and Bug shoots me a look.... eyes wide open, eyebrows up, mouth open.... she realized: she was talking to a stranger!  A breakthrough!

And then the woman said something "funny" in broken Engilsh and the "ah-ha!" moment was gone.... the lovely conversation resumes.  I call Bug over and (overreact) as I wonder if my next step will be hiring those people who kidnap you just for the thrill of it...?  Have you heard of this?  I saw a 60 Minutes about it one time.

After consulting a few of the wise Mommies in my life, I settled on "The Berenstain Bears: Don't Talk to Strangers" book.

It works!  I had my doubts.  After all the "heart to heart" moments we had on the subject, what more can these bears in overalls have to say?!

Needless to say, we have read it a lot and the point has been made and seemingly received.

Thankfully, her welcoming spirit, acceptance, and love for all mankind is still in tact and everyone we meet is still her new best friend.  However, a new sense of caution has been instilled in her little brain, thanks to Mama and Papa Bear.

Now on to the next issue:
She just told me, as I was typing the post, that last night "I had a taste of Daddy's wine that he left on the counter.  It tasted pretty good to me!"
"Berenstain Bears Don't Drink From the Funny Shaped Glasses?"
I doubt there is a book for that one

Thursday, July 5, 2012



We are here!  At our next temporary location.

We arrived two weeks ago (after a dramatic move both in the air and on the road), safely here to our lovely little rent house.  After three months of blog vacation.... with a few cheats to catch up on some friends' blogs.... I feel more like myself.  At least, I feel more like the self I have always hoped to be.  My focus has been shifted; less on self and approval (although still a daily struggle) more on my God, my family, and my legacy.

My kids have given me THE hardest time in EVERY realm possible (sleeping, respect, eating, obedience, etc) since we left our tiny house three months ago, but through our struggles with each other I have seen just how much we need each other.  God made me a parent to these two crazy kids because I am called to raise them and guide them as he guides and gives me wisdom on the subject.  I know there will be other callings in life, but today in this stage of life, it's all about our little family of four.

My husband always reminds me to not let other peoples plans and thoughts dictate how we run our family, and being here away from all our people, maybe, hopefully, it will be easier to get into that habit.

I hope this doesn't come across selfish or self righteous... (same thing?).... but the reality is; we lost our sense of family somewhere in the last year, and already after two weeks, it's back.  I'm sad we had to move "two days driving distance" away for us to find it, but I'm thankful all in the same breath.

Glad to be back.