Another Day. Another Doctor.

Today we had our first appointment at our new/temporary Endocrinologist.

*Let me start by saying: we were spoiled by our hospital before.  Everyone knew us.  We could park right outside the door.... for free.  We had a personal and ongoing relationship with our Endocrinologist.  We were spoiled.*

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone intending to be helpful, resulting in them sounding condescending.  In the sense that she is trying; truly and earnestly trying to be helpful and, I believe, means well on all fronts.  However, she still manages to just totally annoy you and crush your positive attitude in a matter of minutes.  This happened today.  

Don't feel sorry for me... I just need an outlet

For starters we got there early... built-in time for me to get lost.  Aside from the giant parking deck and limited parking spots, everyone  else was very helpful and efficient.  My husband met us in the lobby and helped me navigate through his new workplace.  We only waited about 15 minutes after checking in, and then we were in a room, seeing the nurses, getting all the labs done, and then seeing the Nurse Practitioner soon after.  Up until this point I was very impressed.

My husband was with me, dressed in his "I work here as a doctor" costume, so it seemed that everyone was confident in our abilities to care for Bug and make the "life and death" decisions that we have been called to make.  About thirty minutes into our "chat" with the APN, things started to get ugly for the almost 2 year old in a room full of things "you can't touch!", so Dad stepped in and took Peanut to the hallway.  

Then, the APN started to address me, instead of the man in the green scrubs.  At this point, I realized.... "She has been talking to him the whole time!  And she is seriously underestimating me..... I shouldn't have worn such giant earrings."

She started to quiz me:

APN: "When is a blood sugar considered low?"

Me: "80 or below"

N: "Good.  Ok, now.... how do you check for keytones?" (talking really slow, with a lot of hand motions)

Me: .... lengthy but adequate answer (not worth re-typing)

N: "Ok... good job.  Now, what do you do if she has high keytones?"

Me: (taking note of how she was holding her sheet so I couldn't see her "answers" as she looked at me with that "wait for it.... I hope she says the right thing........" kind of a look) I answered appropriately and almost followed with...."I'm sorry Nancy, are you quizzing me?!"

I showed restraint.

This went on for about 10 more minutes. At the end of the pop quiz, which I of course passed, she handed me a huge book and said I would find some helpful information in there, like meal planning and how to keep my kid on a schedule so she doesn't snack all day.  To which I replied, "Thank you, I really appreciate your time."  

I really wanted to tell her.... "Honey, I got this.  All day every day.  Eat. Sleep. Pray. Check Blood Sugar. Repeat.  Now give me our A1C and my next appointment date."

I'm venting. 

I'm thankful for Nancy and her thorough explanations and educating.  And no, Nancy is not her real name.  I know there are some parents who need and depend on the Nancy's.  

However, she did nothing but stress me when she told me we should start seeing other specialists in the next year to check eyes, feet, etc.... which will bring Bug's doctor total up to 4.  

And again when it was suggested we subject Peanut to needles and blood draws to see "what our chances are".  

And another time when the idea was pressed that we let the Continuous Blood Glucose Monitor take over for the 2 am sugar check uncertanties.  

At this point my husband, had returned to the room, and said, "we can do this.  we don't mind getting up at 2am every night.  This works for us."  I interrupted him.... apologies.... and said, "We have too much going on right now.  There is so much that is uncertain in our lives with the moving and the new job and this little sister, and the upcoming year with a different job and another move!.... this pump and system work for us.... we are not adding another machine right now."  She could sense my mood as we entered the second hour of the appointment, and she decided that we could "wait 'till next time to talk with the Psychologist."

Maybe I should make a solo appointment for that bit next time.

3 hours had passed.... we were back to the car and navigating our way home (easier said than done these days).  

My husband said not to worry about the quiz master and that I was doing a good job.  

I AM doing a good job.  I'm thankful, and up for the challenge!  

I am also thankful for reminders that I hate diabetes and and I hate dealing with it.   

Reminders that we need a cure.... no matter how comfortable and capable we are when it comes to doing life with a thorn in our side.

For another take on thankfulness..... check this out... from a fellow sugar savvy mama.