Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Very Likely Hero.... at Least, For Me

This man's story probably did not come across your radar this weekend, but it did mine. My mother-in-law brought him to my attention and then a nap time Internet research session was quick to follow.

My research topic is a 90 year old man living in San Diego, who was recently named the first American known to live 85 years with Type 1 Diabetes. I want you to first think about how many 90 year old people you know and have a personal relationship with.


I have two amazing women in my life, close to that age, and it is safe to say that if they are speaking, I am listening..... fashion, manners, bridge.... I will be forever interested in their sage advice.

But today it is all about Bob Krause, I would be listening to any and all of his advice as well. He was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a 5 year old. He lost his younger brother the year before because he was diagnosed before insulin was available. At that time, type 1 diabetes was a death sentence, with starvation as the only chance at survival.

"I watched Jackie die by starving to death," Krause said. "Before insulin, diabetics would just die because eating doesn't make any difference: anything that you ate couldn't be converted and you literally starved to death because your body couldn't absorb anything."

Bob's mother would boil his syringes, weigh every amount of food, and sharpen the point of the long needle when it became blunt due to frequent use. Since 1978 he has relied on an insulin pump to deliver his doses along with a stubborn attitude and frequent blood sugar checks.

"Bob has outlived the life expectation of a normal healthy person born in 1921," said his physician, Dr. Patricia Wu, attributing Krause's success to his strong character. "He knows that he has to deal with this and he sees this as a part of his life, he doesn't let this get him down."

The trim, white-haired Krause puts it more succinctly: "I'm a stubborn old man. I refuse to give up."

My hero.

Needless to say, I'm inspired. Now lets just pray that all my hard work won't grow up to be a teenager and decide she's "over it, even though Mom and Dad worked so hard to raise me healthily up unto this point"..... I've heard this is what I have to look forward to so maybe if I keep preparing myself for it, I won't be surprised.

I'm posting a link to the entire article from which I am pulling my quotes on foxnews.com, but I have to leave with my favorite quote of the entire article:

A quote from his Doctor:

"He'll say, `I've been doing this for 80-number of years and it has gotten me this far and I'm still here, so who are you to tell me how to do this? I've been doing this since before you were born,'"

Well done, Bob Krause. I am thankful for your stubborn self. I can only hope to raise such a stubborn, long living, diabetic.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Fun Friday Find: The Lake

Today our family is headed to the Lake. My husband and I both grew up going to our grandparents' lake houses, and I am so excited for our girls that they get to grow up doing the same. I love that rules don't follow us there as closely as they do here. There is no ironing, hair blow drying, dieting, computer-ing. Even the girls bed times become a bit fuzzy, and nap time isn't as essential. I also love that we are only at the lake house with people that we love and like spending time with. The crazy people from work, the odd neighbor, the mail man who won't deliver the mail if your dog is out ... they don't get to come.

We do, however, pack a healthy supply of diabetes"goodies". Even just a weekend trip, we are bringing 5 sets of site change supplies, insulin, extra canisters of test strips, extra alcohol swabs, glucagon pen and all the other things we probably won't need, but would hate to be in need of at 3 a.m. (cotton balls and ketone strips, lancets, and extra batteries.... for those of you who speak diabetes) All neatly packed away in my Container Store box.

(*fun note for parents: The woman at the store where I get my monogramming done, suggested that I get one of those cute jewelry travel bags for all our supplies. It's the one that unfolds and has all the clear pouches so you can see everything.... not a bad idea! AND I could have it monogrammed.... again, if only the insurance would pay for stuff like this....)

Long gone are the days of "I'm on my way home from work early, lets go to the lake! Throw a few things in a bag, grab the dog and the baby and we'll hop in the car last minute". However, as often as we go to the lake I have the organization and packing routine down to about an hour..... that's while the girls are awake and busy.

I always forget something whenever we travel. Whether it's my lip gloss, or the dog food there is always something. Every time we leave the house, car packed, seat belts buckled I say, "well, I know I forgot something.... hopefully it isn't something we can't live without!"

Here's to trying not to forget my kids or the diabetes supplies... everything else, we can make up as we go.

Back to packing. Have a great Holiday Weekend!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Times of My Life.... For Which I Should Be Awake

This morning I awoke at 4 a.m. to silence, which is not normal. Usually I'm waking to the sound of my phone alarm or the sounds of Peanut talking and laughing to herself in the morning. I looked at the clock and realized I had not only slept past the 2 a.m. blood sugar check, I had somehow turned off my loud alarm and, in my sleep, decided that it was better for me to sleep than check on the insulin dependent in the next room.

I was nervous because the 10:30 p.m. check read 140 which, for Bug, means she has to have a snack to get her through the night. The amount of snack to give does not come in a pretty little "right answer/wrong answer" bow. It's a total guessing game. So, we guessed. We went with two crackers and a few sips of milk and went to bed saying, "I guess we'll see how she is at 2"..... except, as you know, I was asleep at 2 a.m.

So, the 4 a.m. blood sugar check read 60. This is a moment when you want to say a curse word, if that's something that you do. I hate having to wake her, when it's almost morning, to give her a snack. Again, I was back to guessing. Because it was almost time to get up for the day, I didn't want to give her a lot because then I run the risk of her waking up with a blood sugar too high. When she wakes with a high blood sugar, we end up fighting it all day. That fight translates into more than just the numbers..... thirst, hunger, MOOD, potty times. With all that in mind I returned to her room with a juice box and a few 100 calorie pack brownies. She drank all of the juice, almost by accident because she literally inhaled it.... I was selfishly rubbing my eyes and thinking about how I was tired, then looked up and it was gone. Thinking back, it would have been better to go with half the juice box and a few brownies. But instead, she had all of the juice and about 6 of the tiny brownies.

Any guesses on the 7:30 a.m. blood sugar check.... 334! I'm pretty sure I said something like, "boogers!" or some sort of word that is appropriate to use around kids that still expresses exasperation. After some cheerios I gave her a bolus with a correction, (bolus is the amount of insulin we give with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.... determined by the number of carbs consumed and an equation that is plugged into the glucometer. a correction is the amount of insulin I am adding to the bolus in an attempt to bring her blood sugar down.)

It is now lunchtime and we are finally back down to the 200's, thanks to the large amount of rocks and sticks in the yard that needed collecting. Needless to say, I will be finding a new alarm "tone" on my phone... something really obnoxious and undeniable.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Proper Motivation

Today Peanut started crawling! She has been dragging herself around our house for a few weeks now, but today was actual connected knee-steps in pursuit of something specific. When I say dragging, I don't mean "army crawl", I mean dragging. Only using her arms, which is actually pretty amazing if you ask me. This is the same child that taught herself to sit all the way up from laying on her back; like how you and I would do sit-ups.

She was crawling towards the T.V. remote, which is exactly what Bug was inspired by when it came to her first successful quad-mobilization. What does that mean? Do we watch too much T.V.? Don't answer that.

I sent my family members a little video of her first "steps". My mom responded and said that my older sister and I started crawling because we were after a gold Rolex. I love it. I wish I had known that earlier, it explains so much. I love things that shine and sparkle. Of course I would be motivated by the possibility that I might get to accessorize with a giant gold something. Come to think of it, I might still as an adult, crawl on my hands and knees if there was a Rolex at the end of it.

Off to sanitize the remote. I let her gum on it for a bit as kind a reward for getting to it. Thank goodness for Clorox Wipes.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Where is Lassie When I Need Her?

I have to say... I have only been doing this blog business-ing for a few months now, and I am now starting to learn all of the everythings that go into these things. I am not going to lie... I wish this could be something that my hero of a dog could fix, because I have other things I need to do; like shower and finally eat my lunch at 2 p.m.

To say that I am clueless about how to make it look "cute", add gadgets (a word I recently learned), etc... would be such a major understatement. I even had a hard time telling my parents how to follow me! So if you are wondering why I'm not featuring your blog, or why... well, you can fill in the blank with any other question you might have about my bloggings.... bare with me, I am learning. It took me about 6 months to even figure out how to get it all started. Granted, by the end of those 6 months, I had a 6 month old so I was slightly busy raising a small-ish human.

Nevertheless, I promise to do better for my (now) 24 followers. I just need someone else to read all the "how to" blogs and then give it to me in cliffs notes. Or better yet... raise your hand if you'll do it FOR me.... for free. I know I can pay someone to do all of this, but until I start making money in this department, I'm going to have a hard time giving any out. What is that phrase, "you have to spend money to make money"...?.... well, in this case, first I need to have money, to spend it, to make it. I have a hard time believing that Gwyneth Paltrow did all the research for her blog: GOOP, herself, right? I am not comparing myself to GP at all, except that we are both movie stars, married to rock stars, and turn everything we touch into gold. Other than that......

To wrap it up, I don't want to send a cry for help out into the mass internet universe, because to be quite honest, I don't want too much help; it could be overwhelming. However, I will say, if you think you have some simple somethings that helped you in this process... (not long and/or drawn out explanations about gadgets and fidgets, but plain ol' girl speak that doesn't make me feel like an idiot)... "you want to pass it on"

Thanks for your patience.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fun Friday Find: My Eight Month Old

Our Peanut is now 8 months old. One of my favorite ages. My husband says that I say that about every age.... 3 months... "this is my favorite age"...... 6 months... "no, this is my favorite age."...... 2 years old.... "no, THIS is my favorite" Maybe I do like them all.... there is something fun and new with every month. However, I think its safe to say that I'm not looking forward to uncontrolled toddling through the house, or the curious destruction that comes with the 9-18 month old. I'm relishing in my happy sitter at the moment.

She loves:

her sister
the dog
being held
holding hands with Bug in the car
chewing on everything
her schedule
eye contact
my lap
and anything else involving personal attention

She might be the sweetest baby I've met, to date. I can set my watch to her daily patterns and I love that about her. Her smile stretches, literally, ear to ear and she thinks peek-a-boo is hilarious. She is fast and busy and I'm thankful that she is still only rolling and scooting. She will be crawling soon, at which time, no thing or person will be safe. So, just for today we are loving our little Peanut, her smiles, her snuggles, and her limited mobility.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The End of Our Beginnings On the Path of Education

Are you a teacher? Were you a teacher? Do you buy your teacher presents? Do you sometimes wish you were a teacher so you could get the teacher gifts..... and the summer break? Do you pretend to be a teacher for the j.crew discounts? Yes, that happens. Chances are, in some way, teachers are on your brain in some shape or form.

Next week is Bug's last week of our first year in preschool and I am now faced with the joy of getting a gift for her teacher. I know what you're thinking.... She's 2. Give the teacher a hug and some home made art work, but.......We L.O.V.E. Bug's teacher and everything about her little preschool and all that they do/have done for us. I only want to get the most perfect and fabulous gift for Ms. K because she deserves every bit of whatever it is I can give her, and more. She keeps up with 8 of these 2 and 3 year old crazies; keeps them clean, in line (behaviorally and literally), entertained, fed, educated, AND she checks my little bit's blood sugar and deals with high blood sugars and low blood sugars and all that comes with that territory. Not once have I felt nervous or unsure about dropping off my 2 years of hard work with a backpack, a glucometer, and a snack for three hours twice a week...... talk about feeling somewhat normal. I leave her there for 3 hours and I have no idea what went on that day until I pick her up at 11:30. Sounds simple, but it's a good thing for me.

I could go on and on and on and on and on..... about Bug's teacher and the way that she took on this challenge with a smile, lots of hugs, and confidence. From time to time she has even gone rogue and made her own edit to snack if there was something special like cupcakes or ice cream coming to class that day. She knows that as long as she stays within the boundaries of grams of carbohydrates that we have set, she can use her own judgement.... which has proved to be close to perfection. On top of all of that, Bug is learning how to "play nice", paint, share, "do the right thing", walk in line, sing songs, and other things that one must master before reaching the 3 year old class.

With teachers on the brain, I am trying to decide what to give our teacher for an end of the year gift. If I could, I would just give her a raise and call it a day, but that is not within my reach, or my budget. So, I'm thinking flowers, gift card to a yummy date night restaurant, or diamonds? I have a friend in "teacher world", working with some ladies that have received designer handbags at the end of the year.... true designer, with a name plate and a felt storage bag. If you are reading, Ms. K,.... I would if I could! I taught school for 4 years, but I was the art teacher... I usually got a mug full of candy or something else small that you would give a "fringe" type of teacher. One year I got a CUTE dish towel and red nail polish... random... but I loved it. Still have/use both. All that to say, I want to go big before we go home. Not big enough to make the teacher uncomfortable or my husband angry when the bill comes, but big enough to say, "Thank you for teaching and loving my child and helping me save her life for 3 hours, two days a week."

I'll keep you updated when I decide what route to take toward thankfulness.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Love Letter To Nap Time

First of all.... I want to give a little "shout out" (as they say) to my Followers. Every time I type I remember that little column on the right side of the blog. I had decided that 19 was a great number... I love my 19 little followers. (I know there are more of you out there reading... not to worry, I've discovered the "stats" button) Then today I signed in and there you were. 3 more of you. Now my number is 22, and I like it. Thanks for following, even though it doesn't REALLY matter, it helps my little brain remember that someone, besides my family members, likes this thing I do. So, again, thank you.

Now... on to my original reason for signing in today....

How much do you love nap time? I don't care how old you are or if you have kids.... nap time is amazing. I have worked so very hard to get my two monkeys to take 2, or 3 hour naps simultaneously.... worth it.

Nap time is precious to me. True confessions: if you have called me during nap, thinking, "oh, it's nap time, she can talk on the phone! I'll call her", chances are, I did not answer. I love you and I am so glad that you called, but 85% of my nap time is brainless and I can promise you, I had no idea where my phone was, heard it ringing, and thought.... "I want to keep watching the Cooking Channel. If it is truly important they will call back" Then I feel guilty after you leave a message, so I get to up to find my phone, and call you back. Unless I am actually TAKING a nap... then I don't get up, and I'll call you back tomorrow.

(Side note: Hopefully that will not deter anyone from calling me at any time in the future. I'm never not happy that you called, so keep dialing and leaving messages...I will call you back I promise)

Today I caught myself, just short of running through our little house; from closing Bug's door, to the laundry room to start a load, to the kitchen to fix my lunch. I laughed, standing at the counter, wishing the toaster would toast my bread faster so I could get to the "do nothing" portion of my lunch break before it was time to fold the laundry. I am not ashamed of my love for Nap and the un-productivity that comes with it. If all has gone as planned, "3:30 p.m. snack time" is a happy place for all of us and the afternoon looks hopeful.

Signing off, in preparation for Peanut's wake up call in 5....4....3.....2......

Seriously. She's awake.... JUST now. I could set my watch to that one.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Fun Friday Find: Hosting

Short post today. I am doing "prep work" for one of my favorite things. Hosting a dinner party. All of the preparing and list making and organizing... I only love it. Tonight we will be Garden Party-ing with 16 of our close friends and praying that it doesn't sprinkle on my fabulously set table and lit candles. Thanks to my in-laws my husband and I are able to totally commit the entire day and night to Garden Party 2011. I have checked Bug's blood sugar once today and just typing that and reading it over again... I feel like I'm on a mini vacation. Sitting in my quiet house... too quiet really, with nothing but "what jewelry should I wear tonight" on my brain. I will leave you with a few pictures that have set the tone for our mini event tonight.

I hope you have something involving outdoor play planned for the weekend. Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I'd Rather Go To The Dentist

How does this picture make you feel? For me, this picture invokes the same nervous, queasy feeling I get when watching horror movies or seeing "sleeping" animals on the side of the road. This picture was, if you can believe it, an advertisement for a device that measured teeth. No comment.

Today I had to go to the dentist. I really don't like going to the dentist, and it pains me to say that because I really do like my dentist, the person. I like the dentist, the hygienists, the receptionist, the furniture in the waiting room, the music, the view of my beautiful city out the 9th story window from the chair... all in all, if I have to go to the dentist, this is the one. I don't like going to the dentist because... do I need to even get into it all: the pokey tools, mirrors, sucker thing, water pistol, the LIGHT in your eyes, the nasty "polish", and the scrape-y thing combined with the noise that the scrape-y thing makes. Not to mention that I have a nonexistent flossing habit so this makes the overall visit painful and embarrassing.... "no. I don't floss".

As I laid in the chair doing my best impression of someone who is not white knuckled and rigid, I started to wonder what bad dental hygiene would do to a diabetic. Nap time research ensued.....

"When you have diabetes, high blood sugar can take its toll on your body, including your teeth and gums," says the Mayo Clinic. But "prevention is in your hands". As I read on, I found that basically diabetics need to go to the dentist just like the rest of us, and make sure to not follow in (this) Mom's footsteps when it comes to the flossing habits. Diabetes reduces the ability to fight bacteria which could lead to more plaque build up which could lead to tooth decay, gingivitis (early stage gum disease), and even periodontitis (advanced stage gum disease.... the y.u.c.k.y. one... I will not go into detail, just know that it is bad). All of these types of infection will lead to higher blood sugars (among other things such as heart disease) and so continues the vicious cycle.

Lesson learned. Flossing habit will be rekindled.... tomorrow... still a bit sore from this morning's war against my mouth. After reading all of that I have no choice but to amp up my dental hygiene routines. At our house, it is monkey see, monkey do, and I want my monkey to have a beautiful smile, with her very own God given teeth, when they put her picture in the paper for having her 110th birthday party on the moon. Or something extravagant like that.

Now, go dig out your floss and call your dentist!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Someone To Look Up To

I am becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that a lot of my readers are, in fact, "big kids" (as we call them at our house) and adults living with type 1. This post is for you.... as I proudly put you on a pedestal.

As I get to know more of you and more about your lives, it is clear to me that you have not let Diabetes define you. As a mom of a toddler with type 1, I get so wrapped up in our daily lives, that I forget that she will grow up, live a "normal" life, wear fun clothes, travel, have a job, go on dates, get married, be a mommy, and..... you get the point. It is so refreshing to meet normal, beautiful, successful, and smart people that live full lives and do it all while taking care of a chronic condition.

My husband and I already draw Bug's attention to "big kids", athletes, singers, cheerleaders, artists, dancers, and parents that "wear a pump" or "check their blood sugar too!" Our Bug has an uncle who has type 1 and rarely are we able to mention his existence without her reminding us (proudly) that he "checks his sugar too, just like me!" In an odd way we are thankful that she can look up to him and watch him live a life unlimited by diabetes. (no pressure or anything, Uncle W.)

So, as you (big kid/adult/person living with type 1) go about your daily life today, tomorrow and so on, please know that a little girl under my roof thinks you are amazing.... super hero status almost.... and she wants to grow up to be just like you. Keep playing your sports, cheerleader-ing, working hard, wearing fabulous clothes, parenting, writing, and just being someone that gives Bug (and her mommy) hope.

Thank you.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Fun Friday Find: Your Mom!

This weekend is mothers day! The mothers in my life have truly shaped me. In fact, I think it's safe to say that some of the most important things I know, I've learned from a mom..... whether it was my own mother, my grandmothers, my friends' moms, my mother-in-law, my sister, or now my own friends that are mothers! I want to list a few of my favorite knowledge nuggets I've gleaned in my 25 years. (ok, I'm 29, but I really liked 25, so I like to stick with that one)

Some of you will probably recognize some of these:

-when toys/clothes/shoes are left out, they go on "vacation"
-a lady should always have polish on her nails... even if it's just clear
-kids should sit in time out for as many minutes as they are years old
-never tie something around your waist, unless you were wearing it at some point and you have no where else to put it
-no open toed shoes before Easter or after Labor Day
-HOW TO COOK... you have ALL helped with that one
-how to make my bed
-how to fold a towel to hang on the towel bar
-make a big deal about birthdays
-Turtle Cookies
-watch the whole game even if your child never gets to play
-how to blow out candles without making a mess with the wax
-how to use mayo and ashes from the fireplace to fix those big white spots on your dinning table that are caused by something too cold
-use a coaster
-make your guests feel like they are staying in a hotel when they stay at your house
-assign seats at a dinner party.... if you are the host
-keep your hair out of your face
-how to blow dry my hair
-how to navigate a shopping mall
-how to surprise my kids with unexpected treats at unexpected times.... (car trips, every time we crossed a state line)
-how to clean the top of my fans
-if you let your kids hang out with their friends at your house all the time, you can hang out in the kitchen with them while you "make cookies" and get in on all the high school goings on
-if you can't put away the clothes you have right now, you don't need anything new
-don't clear the table if you are a guest
-traditions are important
-good manners will open a lot of important doors
-how to be a good hostess
-read your Bible
-wash behind your ears
-the fancy grocery stores never have everything you need
-don't let your friends use moms nail polish in the Barbie spa
-how to rotate the carpet in sister's room so the spilled nail polish won't show
-how to get the little bubbles out of the syringe when doing a site change
-a recipe for baba ganoush
-try to get to at least page 100 of a book before giving up on it
-go to church
-ALWAYS RSVP (if the invitation asks)
-if you child throws her body down on the floor screaming and throws a knock down drag out fit.... leave the room and if she follows, repeat action until said child gives up
-do not let the nurse promise your child that her mommy will buy her a new toy if she doesn't cry during the throat culture
-dates with your husband are important
-if you let me get dressed in peace in quiet, I will be ready much faster
-you can make your own choices, but if you end up in jail, I'll pick you up in the morning, you'll have to spend the night
-you can find just about anything you need in the Neiman's Book
-I don't care what that little girl is doing, I'm not her mommy
-it's going to build character
and finally
-no one ever said life was fair

*there are SO many more... I could work on this list for DAYS, but I'll stop there*

I love you, Mom.....Happy Mother's Day! And to all the other moms out there reading. If you are not a mother, be thankful for yours this weekend.... you have no idea how hard she worked for you!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Day the Reign Came Down

I've been dreading this post. But I'm writing it, in hopes that it will be therapeutic for someone; maybe even myself.

Reign: (noun) dominating power or influence: the reign of law.

(verb) to have rule, influence, or control of any kind

Friday is May 6, and I will forever remember that date as the day our lives changed course and we seemed to lose all "rule, influence, or control of any kind". Two years ago this Friday we went to the emergency room with our 9 month old baby girl. When we checked in, she was extremely lethargic, vomiting, in pain, breathing rapidly, and her lips and fingernails were blue.

Just so you can't say I didn't warn you: this is going to be long.

That morning we got out of bed after a series of 30 minute naps that lasted throughout the night. Bug would sleep for 30 minutes at a time and wake up screaming and sad and with a very wet diaper. She had soaked her entire crib after about 3 hours. I knew it that wasn't normal, but she didn't have a fever and she would still smile at me and play with toys; so I continued on with our day as usual..... nervous and cautious, but still carrying on. As I fed her breakfast she seemed famished, and practically inhaled her food. I tried to get a few giggles and smiles out of my sleepy little one and noticed she was breathing differently. She was breathing rapidly through her nose; almost as if she needed to catch her breath but couldn't. Her fingernail beds were blue and her lips were headed in that direction too.

After a trip to the pediatrician, we left with a diagnosis of "Maybe an upper respiratory thing, she'll probably have a fever tonight and a runny nose" As the day went on, things got worse. By 3 o'clock her breathing was more labored and quick and she had started throwing up. We sat in my mother-in-law's living room trying to figure out what was going on. My husband was on the phone with the pediatrician letting them know we were coming back and his mom (who is a registered nurse and also a mother to someone with type 1) said, "I don't want to scare anyone but this could be diabetes". I don't really remember much after that. I had a feeling she was right.

We all got in the car together to head back to the doctor and I was already in that hazy-bubble-zone where you look and seem like a functioning adult... I was hearing and talking and interacting, but everything seemed to be going on around me almost on mute, or with a very low volume and very hazy. I sat in the backseat with my baby and I stared at her, so confused and afraid.

We sat in the room talking to the pediatrician who predicted this to be a virus, until we asked that she check Bug's blood sugar because everything seemed to fit. I left the room, unable to look at anyone in the face. I sat on a bench in the hallway around the corner, breathing slowly, praying, and wondering if this was it. Was the beginning of the rest of our lives?

Still listening to the world on a very low volume I heard the nurse leave Bug's room, after checking her blood sugar, to talk to the doctor in private. Suddenly the bubble had burst and I heard it loud and clear...."Her blood sugar is 698! That is way too high, we need to check again.... oh my goodness, this is terrible" They didn't know I could hear them. They checked again and the meter only read "too high". (A normally functioning person has a blood sugar reading between 80 and 120.) A different nurse saw me in the hallway and asked if she could get me some water and told me not to stand up.... I must have looked a little bit like I hadn't slept the night before and had just heard that my baby has a chronic illness she will be fighting for the rest of her life.

I sat on that bench for 30 more seconds and listened to the doctor tell my family that we needed to go to the ER right away. I knew they would come around the corner any second and then this would all be real and I would have to start dealing with it. They turned the corner and I stood up.... which took more strength than you can imagine. We walked to the car together in tears and disbelief. I didn't want to hold Bug or even look at her because I didn't want it to be real; I wanted it to be a bad dream I could wake from.... instead of my life. I called my parents on the way to the hospital to tell them what was going on and they were on a flight to be with us almost immediately.

We arrived at the ER and met my husband's older sister who (also a physician) was working at the Children's Hospital that day. She led us straight to the check in and hand picked the doctor and nurses that would be rescuing us. The doctor said she had "Gone into DKA- Diabetic Ketoacidosis" Her blood sugar had been so high and her body was working so hard to get rid of the unused carbohydrates that it had been burning muscle instead of fat. Over time, this caused her blood to be acidic which caused all the symptoms I listed earlier and made her hurt all over. She would cry when we touched her. The doctor told me he was glad we were there because if she had gone to sleep at home that night, she would probably have gone into a coma. We sat around the room and watched the team lay our baby on the bed and hook her up to IV's to rehydrate her and calm her down. She looked so tiny.

We were in the ER for about an hour, maybe, before they sent us up to the PICU. I remember feeling relieved because we were at the hospital and all the tubes and needles were going to somehow make my baby feel better and go back to being the happy baby she had always been.

That night my parents arrived, our friends brought us dinner and our team started to assemble. My husband went home to sleep in a bed so one of us could be functioning during the daytime and my mother-in-law stayed with me and Bug in the room that night. I "slept" on the bench/bed in the room while Bug rocked with her grandmother all night long. She was still in too much pain to sleep on her own so holding her was the only way she would get any rest. I laid in "bed" and watched the clock all night, waiting for the nurses to come in for the hourly blood sugar check to make sure it was coming down.

After a night and a day in the PICU we were moved to a different room and the drama continued:

High blood sugars

low blood sugars

great nurses

bad nurses

arguments with nurses

blood drawing

friends visiting

diabetes educators


equations and math

books books books


new teeth.... yes she got her two top middle teeth in the middle of all of this so there was.... tylenol

weird chairs that turn into slightly bigger weird chairs for tired parents to "sleep"

vending machines and hospital food

After 6 days and 6 nights we left. We left with a smiling baby girl wearing a new outfit from the hospital gift shop and a brand new insulin pump. We arrived home to an amazing meal from a family friend and we were pleasantly surprised to see our little Bug crawling around the house wearing her pump, and not missing a single beat. She played and giggled and acted like the days before had never happened. She was as close to fixed as we could have asked for.

We jumped into our new normal with both feet and 4 days later, we were at the beach with some of our closest friends. Two years later, we are taking it day by day and all in stride.

We have lost all control and rule over our lives and we are surrendering to the Lord and basking in His dominating power and influence.

"And the trees said unto the vine, Come thou, and reign over us."

Judges 9:12

*symptoms of Juvenile Diabetes*

Weight loss

excessive urination

excessive thirst



Irritability or change in behavior

blurred vision