Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Another Opportunity to Practice Letting Go

Today we went back.  Back to school.  Back to trusting the school part of our team.

I took Bug to school this morning along with a plastic shoe box that will live in Mrs. M's room this year.
complete with:
-apple juice boxes
-tubes of icing
-a glucagon kit
-extra test strips for blood sugar checks
-a sharps container
-special treats for when other mommies bring cupcakes/cookies/you name it (hostess cupcake makes a 100 calorie pack.... 3 little cupcakes, 15 grams of carbohydrates.... all adds up to Bug SO excited to get to have 3 whole cupcakes)

On top of all of that, there was her little red backpack with a turquoise monogram, filled with a glucometer, a low blood sugar snack, a high blood sugar snack, and a change of clothes.... just in case....

I had the opportunity to meet with all the teachers at school (as I had done the year before) to talk about Bug's care, risks, and all of the "what to do if's....."  So, I felt great about leaving her under the wing of a school that took such good care of her the year before.... but diabetes aside.... I still felt uneasy about leaving.

With all the other apprehensive mommies, I waited around like I was taking pictures.... making sure she was going to be ok.  Was she going to have fun?  Will she be able to make friends?  Will she make it to the potty in time?  Will her blood sugar be too high?  too low?

I had done this before, a year ago, but for some reason it was harder this time.  Maybe because I know her better now, and I am slightly more attached?

As I stood there, reminding her that I would pick her up soon, and that she needs to be sweet and follow directions, and so on and so on..... she jumped right in.  By the time I left, she had introduced herself to another little girl, gotten out entirely too many toys in the kitchen center, and looked at me with the "seriously mom... GO" eyes.  So I went.

When I got to the end of the hallway, I turned around and went back..... to make sure "the teacher knew I was leaving".

I leaned back into the doorway, told the teacher I was leaving and asked if she felt comfortable with the diabetes care, did she have any questions, call me if you need anything, if I don't answer the first time try me again... blah blah blah.  Bug's teacher seemed very confident and ready for the task ahead.  Bug seemed comfortable and happy.  No more ends to tie up.

I got to the car, buckled Peanut back into her seat, and instantly had a feeling I had forgotten something.  My purse was carrying lighter without the glucometer, my car was filled with the absence of nonstop Bug commentary, and my brain was left only to focus on one instead of two.  I turned to Peanut and, as if expecting to get an answer, I asked "what are we going to do when we have to take her to Kindergarten?"  She sneezed a yucky allergy sneeze and thought it was hilarious.  I cleaned her up and realized it was time to get to know her a little better.

After a needless trip to Target (where I ran into another mom from school who was admittedly "killing time until 11:20), I took Peanut home to let her play with toys all by her lonesome.  She dumped out every organized container of toys I have, then looked a bit lost.  Looking for Bug maybe?  Then she found Hamilton our dog, and crawled and loved on him for about 15 minutes.

Tick tock. tick tock.  Finally time to (leave early) to go get Bug from school.

Needless to say she had been left in the best of care, she had an amazing time, and met a lot of new friends; who's names she can't remember yet.  She is so excited to go back on Friday and "play on the playground! and have snack!  and get to see my new friends and Mrs. M!"  All followed by clapping and giggling.  I do not embellish when I quote her as saying, "School was so so great today, Mommy!  I think it will be so much fun if I could go back to there and do it all again."  (with her little hands folded and held up by her heart.... can't make this stuff up)

Sometimes I am amazed by how excited one little brain, body, and heart can be about the simplest of things: "I got to have cheese crackers for snack that you packed for me, Mommy!!!"  I truly love the way God made her.

There is still so much more left to this exciting day.... this afternoon we start:


To be a fly on that wall.....

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