Today I had one of those moments that makes you want to shout from the director's chair.... "CUT! This is not the way this scene is supposed to play out."
We (the girls and I) were out running errands and had finished up and started our journey home, from across town. Peanut was doing her usual monologue in her car seat and usually Bug tunes in and joins in the giggles and squeals. As I noticed her silence I looked in the rear view mirror to see her quiet, sad, gray little face. My "oh no, something is wrong" mommy-adrenaline kicked in.
I knew she looked so terrible because she was either car-sick (common), regular sick, or had a low blood sugar. I immediately made my way to a random dentist office parking lot to check her blood sugar. I knew she could sense my anxiety as she started to cry and get nervous too, saying, "I don't want to be sick, Mommy!" Her little hands were shaking and there was a negative amount of color in her face. I was thinking "this has to be a low blood sugar.... maybe even in the 50s". The number popped up and read 175. What?! That isn't low at all! But her symptoms read otherwise so I gave her some juice anyway and started the race home..... (just in case she was car sick, my goal was for the sick to not happen in the car).
As I raced home, I watched her in the mirror and tried to talk to her.... aiming for a smile or a giggle; signs of feeling better...? No smiles. No giggles. More anxiety, on my end, about what the next 10 minutes would bring.
Once we were home, out of the car, and in front of Yo Gabba Gabba I checked her sugar again.... 125. After 15g of carbs of juice her sugar had still dropped! I truly hate your unpredictability, diabetes! Truly. (Moments like this add a tally mark to the "We need a Continuous Glucose Monitor" column.... a subject for another post)
I gave her a bit more juice (a possible over correction that I am ok with) and some lunch and watched the color and the life come back to her face. Within minutes she was singing with DJ Lance about not being mean to your friends and the breath was restored to my lungs, brain, and life.
I stood in the kitchen, looked out the window and then looked down at Peanut in my arms... smiling and being silly as usual. I have no qualms about the fact that I said to my 9 month old, "Peanut, I need a drink! Is it too early for that?!" She, of course, thought that was hilarious, slobber/carrot kissed my cheek, and all was right with our little world again.
We ended that crazy hour with some dancing and diaper changing and I was so happy that our normal was back in full effect. The afternoon will be better, and will most likely bring us a high blood sugar followed by a few laps around the sprinkler.... but I will gladly take that challenge over a gray, emotionless, anxious little face any day.