Last night at 2 a.m. I was awake. I was standing at my little girl's bedside trying to decide if I should wake her up for a snack or let her sleep. Not really something most smart moms would do, but in our case it has become pretty normal.
We check blood sugar, on average, 6 times during the day and twice during the night. The night time blood sugar checks have become sort of dramatic. Standing there in the dark, wearing a little headlamp, we prick her finger or toe (whichever is most accessible) and check her sugar.... doing our best to not wake her up. And then we wait for those 3 tiny seconds while the glucometer reads her blood sugar. I have been known to jump up and down, give a high five, and even cry after reading that number. There's a neighborhood we want to stay in when it comes to her numbers. If we are higher than we need to be, we have to give her insulin. If the number is lower than we need to be, we have to wake her up and make her eat a snack. A friend of mine once said she "feels like she is water boarding with yogurt" when she has to give a snack at midnight. I don't know how many of you have ever tried to wake a toddler in the middle of the night and make them eat a snack.... but quite often it is done with closed eyes and a little bit of resistance.
Last night as I stood there debating the hostile wake up, I took into account the meal she ate for dinner, the snack she had before bed, and the level of activity she had in between. Her blood sugar was at the lower end of our "neighborhood" and I wanted it to just stay right there for the next 4 hours, but I couldn't be sure. So, as usual.... I guessed. I decided that, selfishly, I was tired and she looked so peaceful and sleepy that I couldn't bring myself to ask her to sit up and "have just a little sip of milk and a bite of a cookie". After a prayer and some time laying awake in bed, debating my decision, I went to sleep.... although, not without saying (out loud) "I'm trusting You, Lord.... make it work"
This morning she awakened with a blood sugar of 60 which is low, but not scary low. Just low enough to get to have apple juice with breakfast.... a little moment of normalcy strikes again.
Today we are off to visit the endocrinologist at our children's hospital. Which is terrifying to my little Bug. I told her that after the Dr. visit, we could paint her nails and have a cupcake. These visits are something like a review that most people get at work from a boss. The doctor comes in, looks at a print out of our numbers for the past 3 months, gives us an A1C number....(not important if you are not living the type 1 life), and then she looks up and tells me how we are doing. Three months of hard work, stress, drama, and literally blood, sweat, and tears..... wrapped up into one statement...."looks like you're doing a pretty good job" To me those words somehow give me the push I need to make it through the next 3 months. If only I could ask for a raise after a good review. Today, I'll settle for a manicure and a cupcake instead.
Have a great Thursday